| | - Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies. (you get the point)
- You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay. You can hug your friend without wondering if you're gay.
- Speeding ticket? What's that?
- You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
- Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
- Women never get anything caught in their zippers.
- No fashion faux pas you make could rival the Speedo.
- If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally neglected.
- You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
- No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
- You don't have hair on your back.
- If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
- You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her rear end.
- Makeup covers zits.
- You don't have to memorize "Cadyshack" or "Star Wars" to fit in.
- You have the ability to dress yourself.
- You have an excuse to be a total jerk at least once a month.
- If you have to be home in time for reruns of "Ally McBeal," you can say so out loud.
- You always have food in the fridge.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.
- You'll never regret piercing your ears.
- You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- You'll never discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.
- When women are short, they're petite; when men are short, they're just short.
- You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
- If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with them.
- PMS is a legal defense for murder.
- Women can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.
- It's okay to cry.
- You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
- Women do less time for violent crimes.
- Women can be groupies -- male groupies are called "stalkers."
- Women got off the Titanic first.
- You can scare your male bosses with mysterious excuses about gynecological disorders.
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