WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE MALE

WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE MALE
	Your rear end is never a factor in a job interview. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You couldn't care less if someone notices your new haircut. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress = $2,000; tux rental = $100. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet. One mood, all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. "Baywatch" You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me." If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you can just might become lifelong friends. You can not expected to know the names of more than five colors. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or bolt. Flowers fix everything. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24, in minutes. Movie nudity is virtually always female. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one just too "skeevy." None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. (Unless you smash them into the boards) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk in the room. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. You never have to clean a toilet. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. If you are 36 and single, nobody notices. There's always a game on somewhere.